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The Apprentice, Week 15: Interviews, Best Buy, Sony PlayStation, Electronic Arts,
and the Olympics
Original Air Date: 5/5/05
By Sarika Chawla
While Alex Thomason is getting his tongue-lashing in the boardroom, Craig Williams and Kendra Todd wait anxiously up in the suite. They’re not even pretending to like each other and aren’t saying a word. Craig actually starts whistling his own doop-dee-doop song. Then he snarks to us, “I still feel that Tana and I are the cream of the crop here at the suite,” which pretty much nails the whole Craig is an Obnoxious Creep issue, because didn’t you just say last week that Kendra was making all the decisions? News flash, Craig, she whooped Net Worth’s booties.
Well, anyway, enough about Craig for the moment. That guy exhausts me. Tana Goertz bursts in, shouting, “Honey, I’m home!” I’m proud of her and stuff, but then she starts spouting out lines like, “This is destiny,” and—Dear God, what happened to that woman’s hair? Seriously, one side of it has gone all mad poofy. Now Tana and Craig are on their knees praying, because I’m sure God really gives a crap about who is going to win The Apprentice this season.
So Rona calls, and Craig diligently answers the phone. Pardon me for noticing, but does Craig have a pick stuck in his hair again? Really, do people forget about the four TV cameras focused on them at all times?
The three meet with Trump, who says, “C’mon! Follow me; I’ll show you what a real apartment is.” No sir, that is not a “real” apartment. That is the luxury of luxury apartments. It’s unfurnished, so all I can see is that it’s really big with massive windows and breathtaking views, because it’s like super high up. 90th floor to be exact. You honestly couldn’t pay me to live that high up, because even as a non-suicidal person, I know I’d spend all my time staring out the window and contemplating what it would be like to jump. You’d think the task would have something to do with real estate, but…no, he’s just showing them an example of where The Apprentice could someday live.
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In case you missed the promos, it’s interview week, so the remaining three will meet with four top executives. I’ve never heard of these people before, nor do I really care about them, but Trump is so careful to announce their names that I feel the need to do so as well: David Brandon, Chairman and CEO of Domino’s Pizza; Darlene Dagget, President of QVC; Howard Lorber, Chairman of Douglas Ellman Real Estate; Craig Brennemean, Chairman and CEO of Burger King. Each one seems to be scribbling intensely on a notepad, except for the last guy, who is grinning from ear to ear because it’s such an obviously dumb setup shot.
Tana, all excited, exclaims, “You just be who you are and go and try and sell yourself.” Apparently no one has told her about her hair poofing out into the stratosphere, which is a shame. With her coif flying high, she interviews with Darlene, who wants to know how a small town woman from Iowa can fit into New York City. Because the only people who can make it in New York grew up there. No siree, Bob, no Midwesterners living in New York these days. “I fit in wherever Mr. Trump puts me,” Tana says. Then she brags about what a great entrepreneur she is, and how her mom did it because “she wanted freedom.” Which is great and all, but working for Trump isn’t exactly the most entrepreneurial venture one could take on.
An executive (I dunno, they all look alike, even the one woman, Darlene) wants to know what Craig’s most challenging problem was in his own business. After a bit of stammering, Craig answers, “Getting the right people.” Which is all well and good, and probably a fine answer with to work with—but then he’s asked to be more specific, and it’s lights out for Craig-a-roo. “When I set up something and I hand it over to someone, I tend to allow it—it seems like it’s easy—I’m willing to hand it over to someone with the intentional of them allowing—for them to have the opportunity to burn their own bridge.” Oh my God, what? The intentional for them to burn their own bridge?
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I fit in wherever Mr. Trump puts me.
