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  The Apprentice, Week 14:
Hanes Commemorative T-Shirts, Pop Artists Burton Morris and Romero Britto, and Rockstar Couture


Original Air Date: 4/28/05 

By Sarika Chawla

We’re in New York City, where stock tickers tick backwards, joggers avoid men hosing the sidewalks, and it rains a lot.  Ahh.  New York. 

Tana Goertz and Kendra Todd can’t figure out who is being fired at the moment, Alex Thomason or Bren Olswanger.  Kendra can’t get over the wild coincidence that it’s attorney versus attorney facing off against Donald Trump, although I don’t recall either of them really pulling out the big attorney guns.  I mean, no Twinkie defense is saving Bren’s butt right now.  If the desk organizer don’t fit, you must acquit. 

Kendra feels that it will be to her benefit if Alex is fired, because Bren is a weaker competitor.  I still don’t get why everyone is so anti-Bren all of a sudden, because I thought the little Oompa-Loompa was very bright. “If Bren comes back to the boardroom, that’s one less person I have to worry about beating.”  Wow.  Talk about being cocky.

Alex wanders back in, alone and depressed. “That was tough.  Tough,” he sighs to his teammates.  He mopes around with his head hanging low.  Then he sniggers to us, “The worst person to get in a fight with is someone who has nothing to lose.  That’s me!” as he points to ear.  Not his chest or his head.  His ear.  “I’m letting Magna think that I’m weak when I’m strong.  Right out of Sun Tzu’s Art of War,” he brags.

I think Kendra wears too much blue.

The girls debate whether Alex will choose Tana as his partner, thereby leaving Kendra stuck with Craig Williams.  “Is Alex mean enough to do that?”  Oooh, yes woman, I can pretty much guarantee it.

There’s a weirdly ominous shot of the phone, which we can only assume is ringing with the force of Rona.  Craig stumbles to get it.  Hehe, I love that Rona is still backed by the framed “Master of the Universe” article.


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Wherever they’re meeting, it’s unclear, but Trump storms towards his underlings and says proudly, “You came from over one million job applicants.  You’re down to four people.  That means there are no losers.”  No losers?  Didn’t he just call Alex a loser last week?  But whatever, it turns out Alex is mean enough after all, and he chooses Tana to be his partner on Net Worth.  Kendra closes her eyes and repeats, “Serenity now,” over and over again in her head.

The task is to design and sell a Hanes commemorative T-shirt.  I mean, how else do you celebrate, you know, T-shirt culture with anything besides a T-shirt?  You just can’t use bumper stickers or cunning little key chains for this sort of thing.  Both teams will have a famous pop artist to work with.  The fact that I’ve never heard of them means nothing, so I have total faith when Trump says they’re famous.  In any case, it’s Romero Britto for Magna and Burton Morris with Net Worth.

Tana becomes project manager for Net Worth because she has a clothing business.  I’m not sure if this is the eBay one or what.  Alex tells us all, real smug-like, “Kendra was crestfallen because she didn’t want to be stuck with Craig,” and then follows it up with his dorky “yuk yuk yuk” guffaw.  He’s really starting to grate on me.  At this rate, it’s gotta be Kendra all the way, because she’s the only one who I haven’t wanted to whack on the head at least once.  Poke her on the chin so her mouth will close, yes, but no whacking. 


Sarika Chawla is a freelance writer in Los Angeles.
 
 
The Task:
To design and sell a T-shirt.
 
Project Managers:
Kendra Todd and Tana Goertz
 
Winning Team:
Magna Corporation (Kendra Todd and Craig Williams)
 
Losing Team:
Net Worth Corporation (Tana Goertz and Alex Thomason)
 
Boardroom Participants:
Tana Goertz and Alex Thomason
 
Candidate Fired:
Alex Thomason
 
Is Alex mean enough to do that?
 
 
 
  2/18/07 Business Rule #55:
Cede Some Control

 
  2/11/07 Business Rule #54:
Do It for the Team

 
  1/21/07 Business Rule #53:
Make Time for Downtime

 
 

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