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The Apprentice, Week 14:
Hanes Commemorative T-Shirts, Pop Artists Burton Morris and Romero Britto, and Rockstar Couture
Original Air Date: 4/28/05
(PAGE 5 of 6)
Tana is devastated and, for like the first time ever, does not have her “happy smile” on. Thank the sweet Lord, I say. Alex pretends to think he’s going to get fired, which is so obviously another one his dumb Art of War tactics.
Kendra gets waaaay carried away with the metaphors when she and Craig duke it out in the fighter jets. There are phrases like “dog fight” and “cat fight” thrown all around—and really, sweetie, we get it. You and Craig are fighting and, hahahaha, you’ve been fighting all along! Even though Kendra is becoming insufferable with her absolute confidence that she’s going to be the next Apprentice, Craig is still Irritant Number One when he claims, “I can take Kendra in aerial combat today. I can do that without a plane.” Fortunately, Kendra kicks his butt up in the wild blue yonder…which unfortunately leads to more metaphors about smoking people out.
Alex confides in us that he can take Tana in the boardroom because he’s “smarter” and “harder.” ‘kay, not touching that one. “I can guarantee every person, who’s been in the boardroom with me and has been fired, said ‘I didn’t see that coming at all.’” Actually what those people, Bren included, said was, “What a backstabbing jerk.”
In the boardroom, Trump would like to know from Tana how Alex did. She starts off cagily, not wanting to attack right away. “I thought Alex was fair…not great.” Alex pulls out the big guns, “I thought she was terrible as a delegator. Nobody specifically was in charge of the marketing.” Once again, thank God for George, who points out the sheer idiocy of that statement: “There’s only two of you.”
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Both agree that they lost due to marketing, and that no one gave a crap about their artist, which reaffirms my faith in where my own finger is on the pulse of hipness. “What did you do right?” George wants to know. Great question, George. “That’s a great question, George,” Trump says. Tana takes this opportunity to brag about her rhinestoning success, and when the word Bedazzler comes out of her mouth, Carolyn looks most amused. But she gripes, “You spent so much time designing the shirt, you didn’t utilize the artist; you didn’t utilize anything to do with marketing.”
Alex, who has a knack for anything repetitive, pretends to bring up a new point while reiterating exactly what was just said: “The thing I said to Tana is that we really need to set aside some time to figure out a marketing plan. We were so focused on getting a great looking shirt, as opposed to saying, ‘How can we sell this?’” Tana insists that she assumed Alex was in charge of marketing. “Assume” is a deadly word, and when Trump points it out, she substitutes it with “I’m guessing.” Not much better. When she’s called out on not assigning Alex the task, she hems and haws, and basically can only point her finger and exclaim, “He was the marketer! He was the marketer! I swear, he totally was!”
Out. Both George and Carolyn agree that Tana needs to take her wheelie suitcase and get her butt back to Iowa, where sweet people abound. Because you know how everyone in Manhattan is a man-eating shark.
Back in. Alex finally gets to bring up the Staten Island trip, which is like his big ace in the sleeve. Trump is appalled when Tana states that Manhattan was sold out of Bedazzling beads. “Sold out? That’s inconceivable to me that when you have the fashion capital of the world…you can’t find beads.” I mean, the man’s got a point, but isn’t like Milan or Paris the fashion capital? That is, if you want to get technical.
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I can take Kendra in aerial combat today. I can do that without a plane.
