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The Apprentice, Week 13: Staples and
The Desk Apprentice
Original Air Date: 4/21/05
(PAGE 4 of 5)
Net Worth rolls in their design, called, “The Pack Rat.” Alex tells us, “I think absolutely George really liked the design, Carolyn also. I looked at other people, and they were like, ‘Oh man, this has everything!’” Actually, everyone just looks puzzled. Finally they start asking questions like, if there’s a glass lid over the inbox and outbox, how do you get to the stuff inside? All the executives then start talking over each other to comment on how utterly non-functional the design is.
Trump makes his way in, and Net Worth brags, “I think we did spectacular. We killed them.” It’s difficult to watch two guys with their heads so far up each other’s butts. No matter. The other team wins by a landslide. Their prize is actually a spectacular one: breakfast with Carolyn Kepcher and George. Now THAT is a functional prize; much better than running useless sprints with the Knicks.
Hey look, a Staples commercial.
Magna gets to eat breakfast in a private room at the Rainbow Room. Craig, wearing yet another salmon-colored top, says, “It’s very important to gain acCESS to Carolyn and George outside the boardroom.” Sigh. Carolyn reveals that she has two children and a husband named George, and This George reminisces about Trump as a hot-headed twenty-somethinger. The team laughs as gleefully as possible.
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Bren and Alex go on another date. Nothing fancy, just a stroll in the rain. They both agree to own up to what they perceive as their mistakes but plan to stick firm with their genuine belief that their product is better and the judges were just plain wrong. That seems wise. Bren starts getting as feisty as little Bren can and decides that he’s sick of being pummeled in the boardroom. He says, “I’ve been very meek and very humble in there. I don’t want my boys to be like that…I don’t care what it costs me.” Alex couldn’t agree more—although I gotta notice that what he agrees with so enthusiastically is the idea of Bren making a stink in the boardroom, not so much himself. His only real concern is being separated from Bren when one of them gets fired. He refers to Bren as “my buddy,” which is sort of funny if you imagine Bren dressed like a My Buddy doll in overalls and a red baseball cap.
Boardroom time. Trump points out that he’s facing two very uncreative lawyers. Bren and Alex jump right into Plan A: to defend their product of an extra desk to the bitter end. Their big plan doesn’t have too much oomph though. Alex steadfastly states, “I wish I had the rights to sell that,” and Trumps easily dismisses his bravura with, “I think you could get them very easily.”
Alex goes into some long explanation that the extra desk can be used for two time periods of work, but Trump, like most of America, says, “I don’t get it.” Alex lamely tries to make a joke out of being an uncreative lawyer, but George, who is also a lawyer, becomes Grumpy George. He snaps, “I’m embarrassed, because I’m a lawyer.” Carolyn’s all, “I still don’t get it.” Then she actually confronts the team while shushing George, which is something that only Carolyn can do. I wonder if she ever thinks of This George when she calls out the name of Husband George? Her basic point is that these two dweebs are insisting that they’re right, while everyone else, including the Staples executives, are utterly wrong.
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I wish I had the rights to sell that.
