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The Apprentice, Week 12:
Pontiac Solstice Car
Original Air Date: 4/14/05
(PAGE 5 of 6)
No surprises here. Magna kills Net Worth. Actually, the execs say, “It’s a slam dunk,” which is quite the
co-inki-dink when it turns out that their reward is meeting some Knicks players. And Pontiac is going to use Kendra’s brochure in their campaign…which, um, doesn’t that mean she ought to get paid, or something? That kind of seems like cheating on
their part.
Magna meets Knicks. Off camera, Tana excitedly reads all their names off a cue card. Trump throws a ball; Melania looks concerned; Trump makes the shot. The end. Terrible prize, in my opinion.
Ah, but we have a bit of a visual metaphor going on here. The team does sprints across the gym; Kendra is kicking their butts, while she explains to us in a voiceover: “My strategy has been to take a step back and be quiet and observe, while everyone else tried to steal the spotlight from each other. I know who every single opportunity is in terms of strengths and weaknesses and personality…Now I’m a force to be reckoned with.” Seriously, the egos we have to deal with on this show.
Alex, Bren, and Chris contemplate their demise. They hug in a very masculine way and murmur “I love you’s” in an extremely masculine way. Chris ponders, “It’s like, why do I keep losing? I perceive myself as somewhat of a brilliant young man, but I can’t ever win.” I really have no need to comment here, but I will insert the line, “I perceive myself as somewhat of a brilliant young woman,” into my conversations from now on.
Inside the boardroom, Trump goes for the obvious and picks on Chris’s seven-week loser streak. Trump quite rudely tosses both brochures across the table to compare them. “Everything they have, you don’t have.” Well, to be fair, Magna didn’t have a hot blonde on the car. While Chris protests that his photos are just as good, Trump points out the inexplicable blurry shot. It really is quite discombobulating and looks nothing like the car is speeding across the page as Alex tries to play it off. Carolyn Kepcher is incredulous at their choice: “But that’s the first page!”
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Yeesh, George Ross so obviously hates Chris. He needles him in every boardroom: “Did you think it was going to win?” For the first time, like ever, Chris gives an almost-reasonable response, “Sir, I would never think I was going to lose; so yes, I thought it was going to win.” Ooh, but it’s shot down real quick: “But you lose every week.” Sigh. I feel bad for Chris; I do. I wouldn’t want him within fifty feet of my apartment or anything, but you know, he’s a fine young man. Carolyn, oh smart Carolyn, wants to know what the teams thinks about the car. Bren says, “‘Desire’ was the first word that came to me.” Which is kind of what Kendra said too. I dunno. I mean, sure, I’d love to have a sleek looking car for 20K too, but I don’t know if it goes so far as desire. Now show me old-school MacGyver, and I’ll show you desire.
Carolyn points out, “What you just said, you should have just put in print. Everything you put in there was just so boring.” Now she’s opened up a can of worms. Alex announces that he thought the text was “terrible.” Bren logically points out that no one brought up that issue before, and Chris snaps at Alex about the very same thing. Chris keeps doing that. Pretending to bring up another point, but then repeating the same thing in a more obnoxious tone. Even Trump asks Alex point blank, “If you thought the text was so bad, why didn’t you do something about it?” Alex’s quick-thinking response begins with, “Well, I took a nap from 5:15 to 6:50.” Oh my lord, if he didn’t immediately get fired for that, I don’t know what’s wrong with the world.
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But that's the first page!
