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The Apprentice, Week 12:
Pontiac Solstice Car
Original Air Date: 4/14/05
(PAGE 4 of 6)
Never passing up an opportunity for dramatic tension, the editors splice together images of Kendra and Bren, typing furiously and their voices echoing as they mutter to themselves. All backed by the sound of a jazzy horn (think ‘80s cop wandering through the city streets at night after his partner’s been shot).
It’s way early in the morning. Chris and Bren mumble woozily to each other while Alex naps on the floor. “What’s up with that?” Bren grumbles. “He’s such a little sissy,” Chris says, which is sort of like Pot calling up Kettle to tell him he’s black. Kendra, on the other hand, is all aflutter. She comes home and wakes up Tana to say, “I’m like a girl who just had sex. I’ve got like a silly grin on my face it’s so awesome.” Except that having sex and then going home at 8:30 in the morning is also known as the Walk of Shame, which doesn’t always yield a silly grin.
Net Worth is tripping over their creation, even though Alex confides that Bren’s copy is boring. At Magna, Tana and Craig yelp over Kendra’s brochure, to the point that Craig actually grabs the top of Kendra’s head and kisses it. I’m so annoyed with these people.
While meeting with the execs, Tana jumps in with her awesomely lame, un-Mary-Kay-like opening, “We wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for this incredible opportunity to work with such an incredible car.” Kendra is peeved that Tana has hijacked the presentation, and—hey, is Craig wearing a salmon colored shirt? Drama ensues: Kendra interrupts Tana; Tana gives her a tight smile; Tana interrupts Kendra; Kendra’s mouth hangs open; Kendra interrupts Tana; Tana gives another tight smile. It’s like watching a tennis match. Kendra wraps up, “Every single emotion that was evoked had something to do with desire.” The brochure is cool looking; it has pretty pictures and big emotional words. See Craig? See? AND it has space for a CD.
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Net Worth troops in and props up their poster boards. Oh, for goodness sake. Their main image is the hot blonde chick sitting on the hood of the car. You can barely see the car itself. The Pontiac exec can barely contain his laughter. Chris begins by stuttering, “The first thing I thought when I saw the Solstice was not only exteriorly, but interiorly.” Cue the boop-di-boop music. While I admit that Chris is the poorest choice for a presenter they could have made, I don’t like that Alex makes fun of him. “Chris makes up words like ‘exteriorly’ and ‘interiorly.’” First off, according to spell check, those are real words, and I want to know how come Mr. Eloquent never does the presentations himself if everyone else is so bad. Still, it’s quite painful as Chris ends the whole mess by saying, “The Solster Roadster! The Solstice Roadster.”
The execs question the team’s use of the blurry image as their first shot, and Chris manages to answer the question without actually answering the question: “It’s got this blurred image which I feel is appealing, not only in just this, but it’s going to push them to go to the next page.” The boy might make a good politician if he curbs the verbal abuse and casino entrance tantrums. The execs also want to know why on earth anyone would pick up the brochure that just says “Pontiac” on the cover. “The shape!” Alex insists. (It’s a rectangle.) “And also the bright color of the Pontiac sign.” (It’s a red splotch on a black background.)
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I’m like a girl who just had sex. I’ve got like a silly grin on my face it’s so
