| |
| |
The Apprentice, Week 12:
Pontiac Solstice Car
Original Air Date: 4/14/05
By Sarika Chawla
While Angie McKnight is getting whooped by Trump, Magna ponders what might be happening in the boardroom. Tana Goertz is all about Chris Shelton getting the boot, because, well I don’t really need to get into it all, do I? “Why is it that Chris gets to snake out?” Tana wonders. “He’s just out of his league. He’s a virgin, and we’re all sluts.” Insert dorky laugh.
When Alex Thomson and Chris return, sans Angie, there is general oohing. I’m sure they are all as horrified as I am that Donald Trump kept Chris around over Angie, but whatever. Chris relates that Trump told him off, again, and Bren Olswanger snickers that they’ve had this conversation before. Chris stops mid-laugh to say, “That’s not funny,” in a rather psychotic, er, serious manner.
Now it’s really time for Chris to prove his worth to Trump, so he decides to be project manager. Kendra Todd does the same for Magna, thinking that it’s time for Trump to notice her. It’s actually a good strategy on her part, so that those “under the radar” or “has a vagina” excuses won’t come into play.
In front of the New York Stock Exchange, Trump pretends to enjoy talking to three extremely stiff people from Pontiac. “Great to be with you. How’s Pontiac doing?” “Pontiac’s doing fantastic. Thank you, Donald.” For all the schmoozy events Trump must attend every week, you’d think he’d be better with the small talk and then maybe people wouldn’t look so uncomfortable around him.
Trump chastises the loser Net Worth, which now consists of Alex and Chris. Not exactly the power duo I’d want on my side either. “Net Worth, you’re a mess, a total mess,” he says. Since Magna has four members, Net Worth chooses Bren to join them.
| advertisement |
 |
|
| |
| |
Trump comments on the magnificence of the Stock Exchange and then assigns the task: to create a promotional brochure for Pontiac’s new car, the Solstice. How Pontiac is related to the Stock Exchange is beyond me, but I guess Trump just likes to be near money. He points out that General Motors is worth $25 billion, which is only $19 billion more than him. Seriously? I can’t tell if he’s kidding or not.
Since Kendra has printed, designed and written four (count ‘em, four!) press kits in her career, she suggests that she should be project manager. Which is not very difficult, since Tana led last week and Craig Williams has no problem staying under that pesky radar. But when Kendra tosses around her idea of including a folder with a CD slot, the other two basically roll their eyes and shush her. When you’re around 30something professionals, it’s not any easier being 26 than it is 21.
We witness a testosterone-driven geekout in the Net Worth Mobile, where Bren and Chris bounce around excitedly. “Dude, it’s three guys and it’s a car,” Bren screeches. Alex looks super uncomfortable but pretends that he’s actually into cars and not square cut jackets. Bren continues, “Just think about it, two chicks and one guy over at Magna Corp.” He lets out a guffaw, while Chris bursts out with a cackling “Ahahahaha.” He rubs his hands together a la Mr. Smithers, muttering, “Eggs-ellent…excellent.” Alex looks utterly embarrassed to be in the same car as this dorkazoids.
Magna checks out Pontiac’s snazzy looking new car, which costs only $20,000. Holy crap. Now I want one too. Go corporate whoredom marketing techniques! I also read that pizza sales skyrocketed a couple of weeks ago, following the Domino’s episode.
|
|
He's a virgin, and we're all sluts.
