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The Apprentice, Week 11: American Eagle Outfitters and Wearable Tech
Original Air Date: 4/7/05
By Sarika Chawla
Someone must be listening to me. For once, there is no footage of the teams gossiping about who is being fired. I assume they’re all burnt out by now. When Alex Thomason, Chris Shelton, and Angie McKnight trail in, the teams whoop and holler, because let’s face it, no one was ever a big Stephanie Myers fan. And I take back what I said about her being the most attractive one left on the show last week—I think Angie has always had her beat; it’s just that the streaky head is rather distracting.
Chris admits that Donald Trump called him a “mess” in the boardroom and promises us that he will stay in more control from now on. Damn. I so did love the Squeakmeister, but I guess if we don’t learn about ourselves in these sorts of situations…
Trump is conversing with two very nervous looking men about the new Trump Collection. “I love these fabrics,” he gushes, though not in a homosexual way. One guy is practically sweating as he shows off the Trump Collection’s ad campaign, which apparently is very successful. In all my Trump love, I have never come across this collection, but what do I know? “You’d better make it successful!” Trump teases. You know a whole team stayed up all night preparing for this fifteen-second shot, putting together fancy poster boards and such. In fact, I think that would make an awesome reality show: “Inside the Trump Corporation…or How to be a Highly Paid Butt-Kisser in Thirty Days.”
Sad. George Ross is out, but in his place is in-house attorney Michelle Scarborough. Now, she’s perfectly nice looking, but is it really necessary for Trump to say, “Don’t let her looks fool you; she is very, very tough and rather ruthless.”? There’s no better way to demean a woman than to exclaim, “not only is she pretty, but gosh, she’s smart too!” And I can’t help but feel for Carolyn, who was never given such an introduction, even in Season One. Trump throws her a sort of half-hearted gesture with, “And of course Carolyn. You know Carolyn.” Don’t listen to him, Carolyn! We love you and you are pretty! It’s just…you know, the haircut.
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The teams are supposed to create a line of wearable technology clothing for American Eagle and get $5,000 to buy the tech. Oh, ick. I hate anything that has a preconceived little cell phone holder. Stick the damned thing in your pocket and stop complaining.
Remember last week’s delicious-sounding Meatball Mangia that Trump said would be part of Domino’s repertoire? Which was then followed by a Domino’s cheeseburger pizza commercial? It seems that someone in corporate got wind of America’s confusion over this switcheroo, and therefore they added a God-awful non-sequitur voiceover of Trump saying, oh hey, by the way, “If you had done your market research like Domino’s did, you would have discovered that people don’t want meatball pizza. What they want is cheeseburger pizza.” Do they seriously think we’re that stupid? I see the corporate branding whoredom that this show is all about.
Alex volunteers to be Net Worth’s leader, and he’s positively giddy about this fashion task. He immediately jumps into some foreign lingo about square cuts and spring styles. Chris puffs his masculine chest out as he explains, “Alex is a self-proclaimed metrosexual… a metrosexual is a male that embraces their feminine side more than other males.” You know that when Chris returns to the closet in which he grew up, he’s going to be seriously tortured for previously expressing love for Alex. And for wearing that clown costume.
Magna decides to go to American Eagle to see what the kiddies are into these days. Tana Goertz is the project manager since she ran a clothing store via eBay, which is a career path I don’t actually understand. But I gotta give props to Mary Kay vendors from coast to coast, so I like Tana. The team finds dudes who are casually browsing through American Eagle, except I’ve never in my life met a man who wore that brand. Oh, but Kendra is wearing the cutest sweater jacket ever, so if that’s American Eagle, maybe I’ll change my opinion about them.
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Alex is a self-proclaimed metrosexual… a metrosexual is a male that embraces their feminine side more than other males.
