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The Apprentice, Week 9: Home Depot, The Box, and Zero G
Original Air Date: 3/17/05
(PAGE 3 of 6)
Fortunately for Craig, the next day his team has a change of heart and promises to be less jerkwaddy to him. Alex promises, “I’m giving you 100 percent now dude.” Where’s a Chief Motivating Officer when you need one? Paging Danny. Paging Danny Kastner. Bren says, “You know if we work on the decoration outside, then we truly are thinking outside the box.” Nope. Too little, too late.
Net Worth starts their demonstration to a small Home Depot crowd. They swear that you can “literally put this thing together in fifteen minutes.” You can. When it comes from K-Mart already painted and stuff. The Executives comment on the team’s great energy.
Angie proclaims that she decided Chris should do the demonstration because he can be loud. Except I know that even when Squeaky emerges, it’s not a big booming tone but sort of a repressed sound that is
not at all pleasing to the ears. The dude also puts a shelf together upside down while Angie begs quietly for him to fix it. Thirty-five minutes later, people are wandering away, probably thinking, “Gee, I wish I had a wooden box.”
Over at another part of Home Depot, Magna is playing around with teensy little kids. Tana Goertz helps them put handprints on the boxes, while cooing “Wheeee!” Pressing a blue-painted hand against a box is not so much of a “Wheeee!” as a “Wowie!” moment, but Tana is way more in her element here. Although it would be mad cool if she bust out with “Now we be talkin’” to a four year old.
The project is fun, and Kendra admits, “Craig was right on the ball, incorporating the entire family… we did not give our leader the respect his idea deserved.” Yeah, I’m not sure which strategy works in these situations either. If you think your leader sucks, you can try to throw the mission so he’ll get fired, or you can suck it up since a bad performance from anyone is frowned upon. I dunno, I guess I’d go with the second one, but I like gossiping and ganging up on jerky bosses as much as anyone.
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Trump appears, and The Executives give their opinions. Net Worth sucked big time and Magna did awesome. Net Worth’s biggest fault was not letting the customers get involved, which was probably why I thought the whole thing looked like a cooking demonstration.
Magna’s reward is holy crap. They get to experience zero gravity. Damn. That’s way, way better than donating money to the Elizabeth Glazer Pediatric AIDS foundation. I mean, ideally I’d do both, but if I had to make a choice, and no one knew about it to call me a heartless bitch, then I’m so going for the Zero G.
Up at the suite, Angie and Stephanie are all whispers. Basically, if Angie brings Chris and Erin into the boardroom, then Chris’s butt will be nailed to the wall. Angie says, “Erin has definitely created some kind of electricity with Trump. She’s very flirtatious with him; she’s a pretty girl! And if you’ve got it, use it.” By all this, I think she’s just trying to say that Erin is setting back the feminist movement by ten years or so, but only in the most diplomatic way possible.
As team Magna struts out onto the tarmac in their little spacesuits, I think it would be way cooler if the Top Gun theme were playing. They hop into the airplane that is doing something like a 2G, upper rock climbing or something, with a thrust or a throttle, and somehow it makes them all start floating. Dude!
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You know if we work on the decoration outside, then we truly are thinking outside the box.
