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The Apprentice, Week 9: Home Depot, The Box, and Zero G
Original Air Date: 3/17/05
(PAGE 2 of 6)
Erin complains, “Once I found out our task was going to be Home Depot, I almost cried. As a former beauty queen, I know what a crown is, but I don’t know what crown molding is.” Okay, so now we know that (a) Erin was a beauty queen, and (b) she won. I’m just not sure that anyone says “beauty queen” anymore—
even Miss America pretends to be a talent
competition after all.
Magna, with Craig at the helm, tries to figure it out on their end. I really like Kendra Todd’s mosaic idea, but Craig suggests doing a trunk that kids can decorate. Everyone is against it because it is, as they say, a box. Not that I’ve ever wanted to make a box, but I guess if I did, I could think outside of it or something. Ha HA! I got in the first outside of the box joke!
The team won’t stop snarking at Craig, but he pushes ahead with it. Alex “I Like to Overexplain my Sarcasm” Thomason says, “Would you want to go a clinic on making a box? I mean that rocks, huh? No.” If only Alex could edit himself in his head just a second longer before it came out of his mouth. Needless to say though, Magna is very upset at Craig’s decision.
Trump’s Weekly Lesson is “Sell your ideas.” Which, hey, kind of fits the whole Craig thing. He explains, “In life, you could have a great idea, but if you can’t get those ideas across, it’s never ever going to work.” Unfortunately, his demonstration of this lesson involves convincing two Middle Eastern men to buy an apartment, which really isn’t an illustration of selling an “idea” as much as an “apartment.”
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Doop dee doop music plays in the background as Net Worth traipses around Home Depot. “Design a high heel, fine. Design a clothing line, fine,” Erin grumps before screeching over the sight of a whole wall of toilet seats. “Me being in Home Depot is like me being in a foreign country where everybody speaks a language that I can’t understand,” she says. Can’t say the girl doesn’t have a sense of humor, but the princess act is getting a little dull. She brags to Chris that she knows how to put a new doorknob on a door. “That’s what we should do then,” he say s. Somehow Erin finds that so funny that she snotters on herself.
Poring over catalogs, Stephanie picks out a mobile kitchen island. Except that it looks suspiciously like the rolling cart I bought at K-Mart three years ago, which came in a box with nifty parts like an Allen wrench. “Let’s go crazy with it,” Chris exclaims. Sure dude. Let’s go crazy with the mobile kitchen island. We’ll make it do wheelies.
Turns out they’re all pretty inept, and it takes seven hours to put together… yup, it’s totally my rolling cart from K-Mart. Angie complains, “The problem is that I have a bunch of morons on my team.”
Magna proceeds with the box idea, except that Craig prefers that they don’t call it “The Box” anymore. Everyone tries to come up with an even more obnoxious name, like “Junk Trunk,” and still no one figures out that they’re now thinking outside of the box. Everyone else still hates the idea. No one helps
Craig with the actual building of the box, because they were all outside. Thinking. Outside. (See? See how easy it is?)
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As a former beauty queen, I know what a crown is, but I don’t know what crown molding is.
