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The Apprentice, Week 8: Fuse, Barenaked Ladies, Gene Simmons, New Found Glory, Simple Plan, Fat Joe, Lil’ Kim, Lil’ John, Moby, Eve, and Jadakiss
Original Air Date: 3/10/05
(PAGE 5 of 6)
The live segments are up, and Tana is getting MILFified. They’re hardcore onscreen, and Tana—well, Tana just freakin’ rules today: “All you playas in the hizzy, check it. I was up in Lil’ Jon’s crib for only twenty minutes and it was tight! He keeps it cronk. I got cronktified. And you could get cronkied with him for an entire day. And that would be straight up, booo-yaa!”
On Magna’s show, Erin is on with a VJ, while Chris hangs out in the background wearing a tight black T-shirt and giant sunglasses—but not in a homosexual way or anything. Erin is actually really good on TV, just as she promised us. And their prizes aren’t as lame as they were made out to be: Barenaked Ladies will take someone to Scotland on their tour, and Gene Simmons will have dinner with you before his big debut party. “I’ll make sure you get to come at least once,” he says while sticking his finger in Erin’s ear. No, seriously, he sticks his finger in Erin’s ear. Ew, and I’m jealous!
George and Carolyn read off the proceeds: Net Worth got $11,325, but Magna’s week-long experiences got them to $21,654. Hot damn. Magna doesn’t get a reward because giving is reward enough. I mean, I wouldn’t argue against another set of pearls, but okay.
In their bedroom, Chris and John lie in their respective non-homosexual beds to verbally cuddle. Angie tells us that she can foresee Chris “throwing himself under the bus to save John.” For non-homosexual reasons, of course.
Boardroom time. Trump asks, “Angie, was Chris a good leader?” Mother Angie steps up to her role like a champ. Resting her hand on Little Chris’s shoulder, she coos, “I thought Chris did a good job. And he did a great job on TV too.” Then she feeds him a cookie, except, not really.
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Trump is impressed by Erin’s VJing skills, and John swears it was just luck of the draw that made them lose. That makes Carolyn not very happy. “I don’t agree with that,” she snipes. George wants to know why Chris delegated the task of negotiating with the celebrities since that’s what made the money.
Chris’s voice is only just starting to screech a little bit, which makes me proud that he has at least some control over his temper. “You can’t give these prizes away if you don’t have a successful show and a successful segment,” he explains. George, who obviously was not on a restful vacation last week, rails into John, “You may have thought you did a great job…you didn’t push them, you didn’t stroke their ego…John, why didn’t you put on your list something they could back off of?”
John attempts to defend his loserish “I’m-as-cool-as-you speeches” of which Erin accuses him: “I did a three-minute quip to warm up the room a little bit.” Yeah, well dude, it didn’t work. “It didn’t work,” Trump says.
Trump asks Angie if John is correct, and she so totally avoids the question to keep right on kissing Chris’s butt, although I’m not sure why. “You know, Mr. Trump, this guy did such a great job delegating because everyone wanted to meet the rock stars.” And she’s still touching him!
Well, it works. Chris brings John and Erin into the boardroom, since Stephanie’s exempt and Angie’s
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All you playas in the hizzy, check it. I was up in Lil’ Jon’s crib for only twenty minutes and it was tight! He keeps it cronk. I got cronktified. And you could get cronkied with him for an entire day. And that would be straight up,
