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The Apprentice, Week 8: Fuse, Barenaked Ladies, Gene Simmons, New Found Glory, Simple Plan, Fat Joe, Lil’ Kim, Lil’ John, Moby, Eve, and Jadakiss
Original Air Date: 3/10/05
(PAGE 4 of 6)
Team Magna meets with Eve and gets the highest bidder an appearance on her show and lunch with her. Over at Jadakiss’s pad (who the hell is Jadakiss and just how old am I?!), Tana and Craig try a little negotiating banter. “Should we ask what we really want him to do?” Tan coyly asks Craig. Jadakiss just sits at the other end of the table, smiling a little awkwardly like, “I don’t actually care about you’re talking about, so just tell me, so we can get this over with.” Turns out the prize is traveling around the world with him, which I just know cannot be the actual deal, especially when he says, “That’s cool,” all casual and such. Hmph, I hate false advertising.
Inspired, they go to Lil’ Kim with the idea that “I think somebody would love to be like, go on the roadie with you. I just want you to know that straight up. I think somebody would really diggity that.” Aw, Tana. She’s neat. Although I bet her kids are never going back to their school. She notes that meeting with Moby is a little different than meeting rap stars, just because, like, duh. Still, she manages to negotiate a whole week with him, plus going onstage, plus playing a set…damn.
Over at the Pimpmobile, John grins that he’s going to “put my big hat back on and stick my feather in it because it’s time to pimp some girls.” Gross dude. Gross. Ooh, but they’re going to meet Gene Simmons.
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Even before sitting down, John launches into a “great story.” Usually when people say “I have a great story,” it translates into, “I have a sucky story.” No exception this time. He tells Gene Freaking Simmons a tale of his childhood when he was told to draw a picture of someone he’d like listening to…and he drew Kiss. Now seriously, what kind of lame-o project is that? Draw someone you like listening too? Fortunately Gene Simmons is like really super intelligent, and John will never be on his level either socially or professionally: “Is that a story to butter me up? Why
are you here?”
Whoa, is it just me and my weirdo tastes, but it Gene Simmons kinda um, hot? I dunno, it’s something about his dry sense of humor and a sort of sophisticated way of saying the crassest things. “What do I like?” he growls. “What do all men like?” “Football!” pipes in Erin. “No, just kidding.” The girls giggle and toss their hair and shake their thangs in front of Gene, but seriously I can’t blame them. If I had thangs I’d shake ‘em at him too. Ew, I have a crush on Gene Simmons!
They discuss having the highest bidder going to the release party for his box set. It’s not the grandest of prizes, and Gene isn’t too thrilled, “Every celeb has an ego and I want mine to be bigger than theirs.” Still, they work something out. “I’m positively rigid.” Rowr.
Meeting with Simple Plan (no idea, don’t care anymore) and Fat Joe, John becomes even toolier. At one point, when Simple Plan asks if the prize is “big enough,” he responds, “We’re happy with anything at this point.” Whoa, cowboy. Too bad that was just caught on tape. “I was absolutely embarrassed,” Stephanie says, borrowing from Audrey Evans’ linguistics skill set.
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It's time to pimp some girls!
