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The Apprentice, Week 7:
Miniature Golf, Chelsea Piers, and Trump National Golf Club
Original Air Date: 3/3/05
(PAGE 4 of 6)
Yeah, um, what did I say earlier about clowns being scary? Net Worth actually has a fake clown that looks like it’s dead. Clown Chris ups and chews tobacco, and a dad shuffles away his terrified little kid as fast as humanly possible.
Unsurprisingly, John refuses to wear his suit. Audrey attempts to regain some authority, but it’s obvious that she lost it over 36 hours ago, even before the task began. Still, John is such a prick! He grabs the walkie-talkie and laughs, “Audrey, you’re an idiot. We’re going to win this task in spite of you. I’m not wearing my costume to hand out flyers; it won’t matter how I’m dressed. I’m sorry, thanks for coming out, have a nice day, we have some lovely parting gifts for you.”
Of course, two minutes later, there is John in full clown costume, so who knows what kind of butt whoopin’ Audrey did on him when the cameras were off.
Chris is giggling like a creepy perv. The cutest kid in the world blinks at him with scared eyes.
Things must be going swimmingly for Magna, since they’re barely on screen this week. Bren Olswanger is like the sweetest thing when he talks to kids. Stephanie seems to think that they have a “beautiful miniature golf course,” which is a bit of a gross exaggeration, considering that it’s an indoor course with potted trees and cut-out pictures of animals. Better than clowns still, I say.
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Erin is all happy and stuff, and gloats, “Magna does everything it takes to win from an intellectual perspective. Net Worth does everything it takes from a street perspective.” Whaaa—hey, isn’t that the whole theme this season?
Inside the boardroom, it seems that Audrey and Stephanie must have been battling for some major hair-dryer time in the bathroom earlier. Both are sporting an oh-so-‘80s frizzhead that all women know takes a good 25 minutes to do.
When Trump asks, “So Ashley, how did they do?” I actually think, “Who the hell is Ashley?” It’s the WASPy man (duh) who’s sitting next to him.
Long, boring story made short: Net Worth, $304; Magna, $508. In a real shocking twist, Magna’s reward is to go play golf. Woo. Chris’s nose twitches. Tana’s brow wrinkles. Chris’s mouth jerks around.
Off to Trump National Golf Club (where else?), where team Magna is getting treated like royalty. That is, until they hear a strange thumping noise from above. Oh, Trump. Did we really need to helicopter it over the river to Jersey?
I wish I could hate Erin when she says stuff like, “Donald Trump is the mac daddy of the United States,” but then she redeems herself with semi-funny stuff like, “I don’t play golf; I never have played golf. I was a cheerleader. I do aerobics. I like to do yoga.”
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I’m sorry, thanks for coming out, have a nice day, we have some lovely parting gifts for you.
