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Week 5: Airstream Trailers and Massage a-Go-Go's
Original Air Date: 2/17/05
(PAGE 7 of 7)
Well, we can all see the writing on the wall here, but let’s rehash it anyway. Stephanie is low key, asserting that she respects both Bren and Michael, and that it’s “unfortunate that my honesty within the team has been taken personal.” Michael blames Bren for leaving them “in the dust.” He still tries to play the “it’s hard for me to sell a man a massage,” card, but Not-Carolyn nips that in the bud by pointing out that she would be flattered to be offered a manicure by an attractive man. Me too. What’s he thinking?
Weirdly, Bren says he would choose Stephanie to be fired over Michael. Why? Oh, yeah, she’s negative. Get over it, dude. Michael then interrupts to complain that everyone had “numerous concerns” about Bren…Number one, the name. The name? The name? Oooh, lordy lordy. Even I can see the impending disaster here.
Trump ain’t no fool. “Michael, let me ask you a question. He’s knocking the hell out of Stephanie. He’s telling me how bad Stephanie is. And you’re interrupting him with nonsense…how stupid can you be?” Then he repeats the exact same statement twice, which is how I know that he means business.
Trumps’ Voiceover Dub in a Studio Several Weeks Later asserts, “Hey, look. You claim to be like me? The difference is I work hard.” Present Trump in the Boardroom says, “Michael, you’re fired.”
Michael, Michael, Michael. Does he thank Trump and leave graciously? Oooh, no. “If you’re ever in Boston…”
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“Okay, I’ll see you” Trump says, desperate to clear the room but having missed the opportunity to say, “Everybody. Out.” Everyone looks horribly uncomfortable—or is it pitying?—as Michael drops his business card on the table. Business card. On the table! “Call me—I’m serious, please. I own a nice large parking lot in the city.” I’m guessing that when Trump flies his helicopter to Boston, he’s got his own parking spot.
In the cab ride, Michael, well, actually kind of redeems himself a little bit. “I’ve never been in an environment with so many backstabbing conniving people in my life…I think the high school team is going to smoke them now that I’m gone…I have no hard feelings toward anyone. What’s business is business.” Sure, he’s bitter and a little delusional, but he’s kind of right. Now that he’s heading out, my reality show goggles are coming off and I remember that Michael is just a person. Sorry man, seriously. Boy, I’m going to feel sooo bad for picking on Bren when he gets booted.
Sigh. Well, I suppose it’s that time to make my predictions for the final four. I suck at predictions, so I’ll keep changing my mind and eventually deny everything at the end of the season. I’m going with Audrey, Tana, Alex and John.
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If you’re ever in Boston…Call me—I’m serious, please. I own a nice large parking lot in the city. 
