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Week 5: Airstream Trailers and Massage a-Go-Go's
Original Air Date: 2/17/05
(PAGE 5 of 7)
Holy crap, Net Worth’s prize is meeting Miss Universe and Miss USA. Oh wait, I mean, their prize is twenty freaking thousand dollars worth of pearls! Now that’s what I’m talking about Trumpy! Man, if I were a hot Eastern European model, I’d be all over that funny-haired man.
“Let’s go buy pearls!” Angie shrieks on her way out of the boardroom, which seems a little tacky to me.
Magna, trying to boost morale, pats themselves on their collective back before heading into the boardroom. “We are smart people,” Stephanie moans. “However, the one thing we lack is street smarts.”
At the pearl store (sorry folks, no shameless plugs until I see the green), the kids try on fancy jewelry while Miss World and Miss USA smile. Oh sweet lord, they’re making Craig put on a tiara because he has a ‘fro. He grins uncomfortably and bears it until Miss Universe or Miss USA exclaims, “It’s kind of getting lost!” at which point he sort of nods and edges away because there’s only so much humiliation a man is willing to take in the name of team bonding.
Oh, cool, we get to see Bren actually tying his bow tie. I’m not sure how he gets it to sit at that endearingly jaunty angle, but he does. “I’m going into the boardroom tonight, and I’m going to come out as just a vicious, mean, son-of-a-bitch. I’m going to take someone else down and not me.” Ominous Freddy-Krueger-serial-killer music plays in the background.
No lines from Robin this week. She just blinks and smiles.
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Inside the boardroom, Bren’s tie is tilting way south. He admits that his team’s idea wasn’t as creative as Net Worth’s, but he says it was the marketing that failed them. Now, I think we’ve all learned from last season that handing out flyers in the middle of Manhattan is never the best way to go about things—and really doesn’t fall under the category of “marketing”—but it is a good segue into blaming everything on Michael.
Trump brings up, yet again, the fact that these people with great educations are being killed by high school people. Well, hey, when you’ve got a theme.
Bren and Michael start going at it, but seriously Michael is one of those dudes whose comebacks consist of things like, “Oh yeah?” Really?” and “Well, I don’t agree.” Bren calls Michael out on referring to himself as “the sexiest man in the suite” but being unable to sell a massage. Bleh. The pickings may be slim in this sexiest man contest, but I’d put Alex, John, Craig, and even pipsqueak Chris ahead of Michael. Hell, I bet even Bren is an animal in the sack. It’s sure not his greasy stringy hair his wife likes.
“Do you think you’re the sexiest man in the suite?” Trump inquires. “He thinks he’s the sexiest man alive,” Erin giggles. That woman sure does like to flirt with the old Trumpmaster, but so far it seems to be working for her.
Bren points out Stephanie’s negativity…which is true enough. “Stephanie is very concerned with hedging her bets by making sure something is known, so that it’s on the record, so that if it comes back, she can say ‘look, I thought it was a bad idea.’” Now, I’m going to have to call a mild case of shenanigans here, because, correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t it Bren who wanted Stephanie to articulate her objections earlier and not voice them for the first time in the boardroom?
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It’s kind of getting lost!
