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Week 5: Airstream Trailers and Massage a-Go-Go's
Original Air Date: 2/17/05
(PAGE 3 of 7)
Plucky Team Net Worth gushes over the Airstream trailer, which is pretty nifty. It’s like a giant silver bullet with hardwood floors. They bat around ideas until Tara Dowdell (who I’m told is dating Matt Dillon, which is just freaking awesome) comes up with the idea of offering a session with a casting director. Angie nods wisely, as if it was her idea, and says knowingly, “Open casting call.” Apparently she used to be an actress, which served as a natural transition to gym franchise owner. Hmmm, that was supposed to be ironic, but actually it does seem like kind of a good transition. “I’ve done plays; I did commercials back in the day.” Okay, um, if that’s the case, then why didn’t we see her offer any input in that last ad mission? Well, whatever, it got Mean Kristen kicked off.
So their concept is to have wannabe actors pay to sit down with a name casting director for three minutes. I’m uncomfortable with this idea in many, many ways. To pay cash in the hopes of being offered a role…well, some of us call that bribery. But, Angie swears, “Trust me, I’ve done a million of them. You’ll have lines of actors waiting…I guarantee you.” Whoa, that’s even ballsier than, “We’re going to destroy them.”
Angie paces the warehouse, cold-calling casting agents while everybody watches. Even though she has a super-fakey voice and isn’t making a whole lot of sense on the phone, the way that John Gafford grumps about it is pretty weak, since all he’s doing is chewing on his nails. I get all tense for Angie when an agent snarks, “I haven’t the slightest idea what you want me to do. You’re not giving me any facts.” Weird, because I got the concept right away, but maybe walkie-talkie cell phones aren’t the best forms of communication. “Um. We’re really dedicated to making this work for the actors and for you,” Angie hems and haws, which probably isn’t what the agent meant when she said “facts.” Click.
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Back at Team Magna, Bren meets with Maria the Masseuse, and decides to give his business the fun, funky name, “City Spa on the Move.” Bleh.
Warning: character typing ahead. Erin looks harried and barks orders (read “bossy”); Stephanie complains about the messy kitchen (read “negative”); and Michael fusses with a frozen pizza (read, well, “fat”…but the editors mean to imply he’s “slacking.”)
Oh, wow, okay so Michael really is annoying. While Bren tells Erin the new business name on the phone, Michael starts yammering, “I think we should put ‘massage.’ I think we should put ‘massage.’ We’re selling a massage, not a spa treatment. What are you selling? Ask them what we’re selling. We’re selling massages. Shouldn’t massage be in the name?” Erin just holds up a finger in exasperation.
To us, Erin describes Michael’s “five-year old temper tantrum” as “Mommy, mommy, mommy!” I was like, “No Michael, Mommy’s busy.” Gotta give the girl props, she does have a way of nailing the lame-o ones. “Michael constantly needs supervision; he constantly walks around doing nothing,” she complains, as he munches on pizza.
Bren calls and tells Michael, Stephanie and Erin to bring the rest of the team dinner at the warehouse in Queens. Even though the three moan and groan, I’m really not sure what the biggie is, because it’s not clear what else they have to do that night.
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