| |
| |
Week 4: "Soap Dopes"
Original Air Date: 2/10/05
(PAGE 2 of 9)
In Deutschland, Carolyn Kepcher sits with the D-man (Donny, not Donald). It’s one of those rare moments of Carolyn Care when she tells him, “I think it’s a great group. They’re pretty intelligent.” Yes, even the ones who only have a high school education are included.
The task is to create a commercial for Dove Cool Moisture Body Wash, but to approach it as a thirty-second film. “I want you to blow me away. The guys who are most creative, with the most out of the box approach are going to win.” See, this is another reason why I could never be on The Apprentice. I just can’t deal with that kind of pressure and expectation. When was the last time you ever blew anyone away? And exactly how big is this box that everyone keeps talking about?
Since no one in Team Magna’s box has any experience in advertising, Erin steps up to be project manager. Probably a wise choice, since she’s been pretty mouthy in the boardroom, has told Trump how to do his job, and has very big hair.
At the Magna powwow, Bren comes up with an idea: “A female chef showing a young protégé how to wash his cucumber.” Huh? Alex starts giggling like a little kid. The plan is for the chef to hand her young stud the body wash and for him to take it and walk out arm-in-arm with…a male waiter.
I’m no expert, but I would think by now the candidates might consider checking out the facial expressions of their observers before moving forward. George Ross’s eyebrows nearly vaulted off his face with this concept. In the meantime, Bren looks smugly satisfied with his gay idea. Kendra sums it up nicely by telling us, “I would have never in a million years expected a Republican, district attorney from Tennessee, to come up with a homosexual commercial.” No way, Bren’s a Republican?
| advertisement |
 |
|
| |
| |
Most of the team loves the idea, except Michael, which is fortunate because now I can continue to dislike him. He pouts, “I don’t like the whole ending with the gay guy.” I mean, sure, the guy has a point when he says, “But will Dove appreciate it?” because no, they will never appreciate it, never in a million years. But he still sounds like every homophobic jerk that secretly used to play doctor with his best friend when they were like ten and swore never to tell anyone as long as they live. And does anyone else think he looks like a grown-up version of Damien from The Omen?
Poor George, the whole fly-on-the-wall perspective thing must be killing him. If he can’t tell the team, then at least he can confide in us, “It’s a bad idea. I could say Magna’s is going down the wrong path.”
Hehehe. Okay, Michael gets in a real zinger here: “I'm in this team no matter what. Let's make this vegetable porno the best vegetable porno we can possibly make. With a gay twist.” Now I’m back on his side. This is the most hot-cold relationship I’ve ever had with a reality show character who doesn’t know who I am.
Over at plucky Team Net Worth, Kristen Kirchner, who has yet to slur her words this episode but still scares me a little, volunteers to be project manager. “My boyfriend is a director, and I’m always on set and doing stuff in Hollywood.” Um. My boyfriend makes video games for a living, but that doesn’t mean I get to go careening down the highway Grand Theft Auto style while shooting out cops and banging hookers. Or, I suppose, a better analogy would be, I’m not qualified to make video games.
|
|
I would have never in a million years expected a Republican, district attorney from Tennessee, to come up with a homosexual commercial.
