Go Back

 
 
Evan Marc Katz is the founder of the online dating consulting service,
E-Cyrano, and author of the bestseller, "I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book - A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating."
 
 
 
 
Pictured (l-r): Raj Bhakta, Jennifer Massey, Ivana Ma, Chris Russo,
and Kevin Allen.
 
 
 
You know your team is doomed when you only have a half hour left and your contractor says: 'Let us eat our tacos; we’ll get back in there.'
 
 
 
  12/17/04 Episode 216:
Magellans, Dirty Seats, and Sorority Presidents

 
  12/10/04 Episode 215:
Safe jobs, Intellectual Horsepower, and I Love You Too’s

 
  12/3/04 Episode 214:
Oompa Loompas, Candy Bar Strippers, and the M&M Sisters

 
  11/30/04 Episode 212:
Barbie Tumors, Pepsi Dumbbells, and The Honest Truth

 
  11/19/04 Episode 211:
Fembots, Fit Wheels, and Butt Attitude

 
  11/12/04 Episode 210:
“Impossible” Tasks, Trampled Fliers, and Only Two Brides-To-Be

 
  10/29/04 Episode 208:
Deutsch, Hummers, and New York’s Finest

 
 
 
  Week 9: “Bringing the House Down”

Bad Contractors, “Nasty” Boardrooms, and Formal Firings

By Evan Marc Katz

November 5, 2004 

Raj Bhakta opens the show by asking Kevin Allen how he can improve this time out as project manager.  What a novel idea!  Next thing you know Raj will actually ask for everyone’s input before making any big decisions.  Nahhhhh.

Not that this should come as news but a hardhat with a suit is not a good look. 

You know it’s great casting if you get the chills every time Jennifer Crisafulli smiles. Kind of like Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs, but with better hair.

Thankfully, Jennifer C. remains an ever-so-humble ambassador of good will for her team as she chews out Ivana Ma for what went down weeks ago.  Way to rally the troops, Jen.

You can’t stop Jennifer C.; you can only contain her—at least around Ivana: “What have you done besides lose money and make mistakes?”  I can only picture her parents watching with their friends as they nod proudly, “Yep, that’s our Jen.”

Rough first ten minutes for Ivana as Stacie Jones Upchurch also lays into her:  “You’re a liar; you misrepresented me; and it’s not cool.” Welcome back, Stacie J.  I hear the P.L.O. is looking for diplomats with just your skill set.

Stacie J., just moments after exploding on Ivana: “One inclination of mine would be to go after them and go off.  [But] we need to keep it business and not personal.”  Stacie, if that’s what you call keeping it business, I’d sure hate to see you go off.

Trump’s edict to “Control Your Contractor” has a few too many echoes of Bob Barker’s plea to “Spay Your Pet” for my taste.

Kudos to The Apprentice for teaching people about Long Island.  I’ll bet most of you had no idea that jaunty sitcom music actually plays in the background there 24 hours a day. 

A sad day indeed.  After her extended impression of My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, the wheels are quickly falling off my Jennifer Massey bandwagon.

 
advertisement
 
 
Is it me or does the way Wes Moss ask “Are you guys contractors?” make it sound like he’s asking, “Do you come here often?” or “Can I bum a smoke?”

Great idea, Sandy Ferreira!  Try harder on this task because it’s real-estate oriented.  Not because your wedding-planner ass is on the line or anything.

Men with bowties probably shouldn’t ram walls with lowered shoulders. 

“There is nothing more consistent in human nature than both the desire to destroy and create.”  Raj, you’re a regular Winston Churchill.

“This makes Raj happy.”  Then again, maybe you’re not.

Rob Flanagan, back from the dead: “I need a win.”  Why?  Would this somehow make you not the first person fired from the show?

Andy Litinsky brings in the Teamsters to take over as contractors.  What I want to know is what happens to the old crew?  Does John Jr. simply snap his fingers and say, “Take a hike,” and they all run for their lives?  Does Tommy show them the muscle?  Or just a glimpse of his .38?  Now, that’s the show I want to see.

Following in the great tradition of leaders like Elizabeth Jarosz and… Elizabeth Jarosz, Sandy takes a teary timeout from supervising the new heavies.

Not exactly the question you want to hear right before the end of a task: “How are we gonna put a bathroom together in two hours?”

I’m about as handy as Paris Hilton, but I’ve gotta guess it’s much more difficult to put in a bathroom with a taco in your hand.

You know your team is doomed when you only have a half hour left and your contractor says: “Let us eat our tacos; we’ll get back in there.”


 

E-mail This Column
Discuss Column
Go Back
 
Continued
1 2 | Next >>

   
Pop Tower
American Idol 2010aaron kellyalex lambertandrew garciaantwan michaelashley rodriguezcasey jameschris golightlycrystal bowersoxdavid dukedidi benamihaeley vaughnjanell wheelerjermaine sellersjohn parkjose munozkatelyn epperlykatie stevenslacey brownlee dewyzelilly scottmichael lynchemichelle delamorpaige milessiobhan magnustodrick halltyler grady

TV Shows/Movies — 10 things i hate about you100 questions24 season 7 on fox30 rock season 490210 season 2aaron stoneaccidentally on purposeamazing race season 16america's best dance crew season 5america's got talent season 4america's next top model cycle 14american chopperamerican idol season 9army wivesavatar the last airbenderthe bachelor 14bad girls club 4the bachelorette 5basketball wivesben 10ben 10: alien forcebattlestar galacticaBig Brother 11biggest loser season 9bill engvall showbones on foxbored to deathboys over flowersbrothers and sisters season 4buried lifeburn noticecalifornication season 4camp rockcamp rock 2 final jamcandy girlscapricacelebrity rehab with dr. drewcharm school 3 with ricki lakecheetah girlschuck season 3the city on mtvthe closer season 5community on nbccory in the housecougar towncsi las vegas season 10csi miami season 8csi ny season 6daddy's girlsdaisy of lovedamages season 3dancing with the stars season 10dark blue on tntdays of our livesdeadliest catchdeal or no dealthe deep end on abcdegrassi next generation season 9desperate housewives season 6dexter season 4 on showtimedog the bounty hunterdr. 90210dragon ball zdrake and joshecwentourage season 6eurekaextreme makeover home editionfairly oddparentsfamily guyfantasia for realfantasy factoryflashforwardfanboy and chum chumflipping outflavor of love 3flavor of love girls: charm schoolfor the love of ray jthe forgotten on abcfrank the entertainer in a basement affairfrankie and neffefresh beat bandgigantic on teennickgood luck charliefriday night lightsfringe season 2ghost huntersghost hunters internationalghost whisperer season 5girls next doorglee on foxthe good wifegossip girl season 3greek season 3 on abc familygrey's anatomyhannah montanahappy townhawthorne season 2hell's kitchen season 6heroes season 4hgtv design star season 4hi-5high school musical 3high school reunion 3 on tv landthe hills on mtvhouse season 6 on foxhuman targethung on hboicarlyice road truckersi love money 2i love new york 2i'm in the bandin plain sightiron chef americai want to work for diddy 2jersey shore on mtvjon and kate plus 8jonaskeeping up with the kardashianskell on earthkendra on e!kourtney and khloe take miamithe l wordlaguna beachlaunch my linelegend of the seekerleverage on tntlie to mela inklost season 6mad men season 3make it or break itmaking the band 4meet the brownsmelrose place 2009the mentalistmercy on nbcmiami inkmodels of the runway 2modern familymonk on usamy antoniomy life as lizmythbustersnarutonaked brothers bandncis los angelesned's declassified school survival guidenip/tucknitro circusnurse jackienyc prepthe octhe office season 6 on nbcone tree hill season 7the pacific on hboparenthood on nbcparis hilton's my new bff 2parks and recreationpenguins of madagascarphineas and ferbprivate practice season 3project runway season 7psych on usarachel zoe projectraising the barreal chance of love 2real housewives of atlantareal housewives of dcreal housewives of new jerseyreal housewives of new york cityreal housewives of orange countyreal world dcreal world road rules challenge ruinsrob and bigrock of love busrock of love charm schoolroyal painsrun's housesanctuary on syfysecret life of the american teenagershark tanksecrets of aspenshear genius season 3smallville season 9sonny with a chancesons of anarchysons of tucsonsouthland on tntso you think you can dance season 6spongebob squarepantsstargate universesuite life on decksupernatural season 5survivor heroes vs villainstattoo highwayteam umizoomithe to showtool academy 2top chef las vegas season 6top chef masterstop model cycle 14total drama actiontough love 2trauma on nbcthree rivers on cbsthe troop on nickelodeontrue bloodtrue jackson vptwilighttwilight saga new moontyler perry's house of payneugly betty season 4ultimate fightervampire diariesv 2009 series on abcvictorious on nickelodeonwarehouse 13 season 2weeds on showtimewhite collarwizards of waverly placewwe rawthe young and the restlesszeke and lutherzoey 101

Celebrities — ali lohanalaina huffmanallie crandellamanda bynesamber campisianne hathawayashley benson &bull ashley tisdaleaudrina patridgebilly ray cyrusbrittany bingercandice accolacody linleycory monteithdemi lovatodrake bellelyse levesqueemily osmenteva mendesgage golightlyhayden panettierehilary duffindia de beaufortjames marsdenjamie lynn spearsjamie ray newmanjana kramerjayma maysjenny mccarthyjonas brothersjustin gastonkatherine heiglkatie cassidykayla ewellkendra wilkinsonkeke palmerkim kardashiankristin cavallarilauren conradlaura vandervoortlea michelelogan huffmanlourdes benedictomatt bomermila kunismiley cyrusmiranda cosgrovemorena baccarinnicholas purcellnina dobrevnora zehetnerpaul wesleypeyton listrobert pattinsonrochelle aytessara canningselena gomezshantel vansantensteven r. mcqueenstephanie jacobsentiffany thorntontila tequilatravis van winklevanessa hudgenswhitney portzac efronzach roerigzachary ray shermanzachary knighton
This website has no affiliation with NBC, Mark Burnett Productions,
The Trump Organization, or Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia.