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Evan Marc Katz is the founder of the online dating consulting service,
E-Cyrano, and author of the bestseller, "I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book - A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating." |
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| Pictured (l-r): Andy Litinsky, Kelly Perdew, and Maria Boren. |
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 I may be what Kevin Allen calls 'a pussy,' but I agreed with Elizabeth Jarosz 100%. At least I did when she took her
own side. |
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12/17/04 |
Episode 216:
Magellans, Dirty Seats, and Sorority Presidents
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12/10/04 |
Episode 215:
Safe jobs,
Intellectual Horsepower,
and I Love You Too’s
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12/3/04 |
Episode 214:
Oompa Loompas, Candy Bar Strippers, and the M&M Sisters
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11/30/04 |
Episode 212:
Barbie Tumors, Pepsi Dumbbells, and The Honest Truth
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11/19/04 |
Episode 211:
Fembots, Fit Wheels, and
Butt Attitude
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11/12/04 |
Episode 210:
“Impossible” Tasks, Trampled Fliers, and Only Two Brides-To-Be
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11/5/04 |
Episode 209:
Bad Contractors, “Nasty” Boardrooms, and Formal Firings
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Week 8: "A Tale of Two Leaders"
Deutsch, Hummers, and
New York’s Finest
By Evan Marc Katz
October 29, 2004
Maria Boren says, “You just never know what’s gonna happen in the boardroom.” We know, Maria. That’s why we watch.
Andy Litinsky on his upcoming stint as project manager: “I think tomorrow they’re going to see a different side of me they haven’t seen before.” Would that be your post-pubescent side or your humble side?
Advertising guru Donnie Deutsch states that it “looks like Donald sent over a lot of smart people.” Deutsch hasn’t been watching this show, has he?
Maria, on sexing up their ad: “I see a picture of a Hummer.” Why stop there? I mean, a picture is nothing compared to a hot streaming video.
When the directions from Deutsch were to aim for the heart, why was Apex so hell-bent on making a Jerry Bruckheimer flick? Their ad all but cranked out, “Bad Boys, Bad Boys, what you gonna do?”
Raj Bhakta: “This is not a tampon commercial!” Or was that Chris Russo? It sounded more like Chris. Whoever it was probably should have gone with a tampon commercial.
I may be what Kevin Allen calls “a pussy,” but I agreed with Elizabeth Jarosz 100%. At least I did when she took her own side.
The Donald introducing Bill Rancic at the Miss Universe pageant: “My apprentice…You know, my apprentice.” I wonder if he’ll do this with Melania
when they get married. “My trophy wife…You
know, my trophy wife.”
Elizabeth: “I think I’m gonna make a few enemies tomorrow.” Don’t stress over it too much, Elizabeth. I think you sorta made them yesterday.
Maria is up in arms because their ad campaign doesn’t have enough sex appeal for their 18-35 male demographic. Because we all know that's why guys rush into crack dens and crumbling buildings—to
pick up chicks.
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Kevin has every right to be pissed, but if he wants to become the next Apprentice, he’d better stop saying things like, “Our project sucks, flat-out,” “Shut up,” and “You’re getting no more input from me on this.” But I’m with Elizabeth, so what do I know?
Perhaps the only time a New York accent was ever effective: Chris pitching the team’s campaign hitting
on New Yorkers’ pride to Deutsch.
Raj and his militant cronies wanted to scare everyone so badly that he formatted the words on the TV screen to make it look like a threat note from terrorists.
Is it me or does “New York’s Finest Looking for New York’s Finest” sound more like a bad personals ad for self-absorbed models than a good recruitment ad for tough cops?
Wow! Who would have thought that humans speaking directly to the camera are more “human” than tanks rolling at you? And they say you can’t learn anything from ads.
Trump, exhibiting the tact that has made him into a paradigm for all that is good in business: “Losers, I’ll see you back at the boardroom.”
Maria seems positively astonished to see her ad appear on the New York Times Square Jumbotron. Doesn’t she have extensive advertising experience?
Did I just hear the word “pussy” on network TV? Wait, maybe it was a hot streaming video.
No such luck. It was just Maria’s sexed-up cut of the commercial.
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