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| Pictured (l-r): Kelly Perdew and George Ross. |
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 I have this sense that asking Anna Kournikova for a date in the first thirty seconds of meeting her is somewhat like asking Meg Ryan to fake an orgasm if you saw her in a diner. |
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12/17/04 |
Episode 216:
Magellans, Dirty Seats, and Sorority Presidents
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12/10/04 |
Episode 215:
Safe jobs,
Intellectual Horsepower,
and I Love You Too’s
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12/3/04 |
Episode 214:
Oompa Loompas, Candy Bar Strippers, and the M&M Sisters
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11/30/04 |
Episode 212:
Barbie Tumors, Pepsi Dumbbells, and The Honest Truth
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11/19/04 |
Episode 211:
Fembots, Fit Wheels, and
Butt Attitude
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11/12/04 |
Episode 210:
“Impossible” Tasks, Trampled Fliers, and Only Two Brides-To-Be
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11/5/04 |
Episode 209:
Bad Contractors, “Nasty” Boardrooms, and Formal Firings
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Week 5:"Lights! Camera! Transaction!"
Uteruses, Sponges, and Anna
(PAGE 2 of 2)
Does anyone crave attention more than John McEnroe and Anna Kournikova? Carrot Top, maybe? Michael Moore, perhaps? Ooh, I know. His first name is Donald, and he has this little TV show you may have heard of…
Raj, particularly well-dressed and coiffed, has a great mind for business, but boy, does he need a dating coach. My God! This guy makes Urkel look smooth by comparison.
Raj’s simple act of calling coffee “a harmless beverage” in trying to persuade Anna to go out with him should have been warning enough. But the persistence! In front of colleagues! In front of cameras! Then again, this is a man who wore red pants on one of the biggest days of his life, so who are we to judge?
When Raj said there were “no points for not trying,” he was factually incorrect. In fact, everybody got points for not trying, except for him.
I have this sense that asking Anna Kournikova for a date in the first thirty seconds of meeting her is somewhat like asking Meg Ryan to fake an orgasm if you saw her in a diner.
If my Volkswagen could turn on Wilshire Boulevard the way the women of Apex turn on their project managers, I’d keep it for life.
Stacy telling Trump that Pam is not up for being his next Apprentice was hardly a good idea. A) That’s for him to determine. B) Nobody likes to be told what to do, especially not Donald Trump.
Pam, getting it right and wrong in the same sentence: “I don’t think I’m cocky when I say that I’d be surprised if I got fired.” Surprise!
Rumor has it that Pam told her friends and family that she tied for second on The Apprentice with thirteen other people.
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Hey, Pam. You need another shovel to dig your grave as you continue to insist that your team didn’t lose? The real kicker was when you said the price was “two cents” too low. Maybe you should have tried upping it to $71.24 to undersell the guys…
If defending your failures NEVER works in the boardroom, why is it that some project manager doesn’t step up and take partial credit for a team loss? Trump will probably still fire you, but I think it’ll be with much less glee.
Stacy, topping her hyperbole that Stacie Jones Upchurch shaking a plastic toy was “the scariest moment of my life”: “If you want another Enron on your hands, Mr. Trump…” If she yelled “Fire!” in a crowded theater, a man with a lighter would probably be to blame.
Maria, speaking for the first time since her shaky Katherine Hepburn imitation on QVC: “I’m great on camera.” So is Paris Hilton. Don’t quit your day job.
I think Carolyn would fit in well on the Backstabb—um, I mean, Apex—Corporation. Here’s what she had to say, moments after axing Pam: “She’s got a good head on her shoulders.” Oh, and Pam? Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.
Who got fired: Pam.
Who should have been fired: Pam.
Why? Oh, I don’t know. Because she was a subtle as a family of bulls in a china shop. Because she brought to mind the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket. But mostly because she priced a common household item at the same rate as a meal for two at the Olive Garden.
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