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Evan Marc Katz is the founder of the online dating consulting service,
E-Cyrano, and author of the bestseller, "I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book - A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating."
 
 
 
 
Pictured (l-r): Jennifer Massey, Kelly Perdew, and Carolyn Kepcher.
 
 
 
It may be only a few weeks since I’ve seen Pamela Day, but my, has she grown.
 
 
 
  12/10/04 Episode 215:
Safe jobs, Intellectual Horsepower, and I Love You Too’s

 
  12/3/04 Episode 214:
Oompa Loompas, Candy Bar Strippers, and the M&M Sisters

 
  11/30/04 Episode 212:
Barbie Tumors, Pepsi Dumbbells, and The Honest Truth

 
  11/19/04 Episode 211:
Fembots, Fit Wheels, and Butt Attitude

 
  11/12/04 Episode 210:
“Impossible” Tasks, Trampled Fliers, and Only Two Brides-To-Be

 
  11/5/04 Episode 209:
Bad Contractors, “Nasty” Boardrooms, and Formal Firings

 
  10/29/04 Episode 208:
Deutsch, Hummers, and New York’s Finest

 
 
 
  Week 15: "Season Finale"

Magellans, Dirty Seats, and Sorority Presidents

By Evan Marc Katz

December 17, 2004 

Chris Russo, commenting simultaneously on why Jennifer Massey was right to bawl out Chris Webber’s assistant and why she’s not the Apprentice: “There’s no time for nice.” 

Jennifer doesn’t let up on Webber’s assistant: “None of us believe he has a meeting that can’t be moved.”  Because everyone knows the best way to get something out of someone is to call them a liar.

The Queen of Nice continues:  “You’re leaving us in a lurch.  That’s on Chris’s conscience.”  Sure, Jen.  Right behind the timeout and his marijuana arrests. 

Raj Bhakta deems that making gift bags is “undignified.”  Not like, say, running around a tennis stadium in your boxer briefs…

Was it just me or was there a sexual vibe between Raj and John Willenborg when they were drunk and staring into each other’s eyes?  Raj may have been looking past him at the maid off-screen…but what about John?

Carolyn Kepcher calls Kelly Perdew “robotic.” In other news, Paris Hilton calls Christina Aguilera “skanky.”

If, according to John, Kelly and Elizabeth Jarosz are “Magellan and crew,” that must make him and Raj, “Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern.”  Or at least “Dumb and Dumber.”  How about “Potsie and Ralph Malph”?

It may be only a few weeks since I’ve seen Pamela Day, but my, has she grown. 

Leaving Jennifer in charge of taking care of corporate sponsors is like putting Dick Cheney in charge of hosting Dance Fever.

The Genworth woman sums up a season of Jennifer in just one sentence: “She didn’t come up with any good ideas.”  Well put.

Although wearing that tight red shirt to sell candy was a minor stroke of brilliance.

Elizabeth is a much better leader when she isn’t trying to please everybody, isn’t she?

 
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Jennifer fan or not, you had to feel somewhat bad for her when the guy said, “Get power.  Make the problem go away.”  ‘Cause project managers always have electrical engineering degrees and stash mini-generators in their purses.

Jen Massey is the first person in 25 years to boss David Stern around.  Hmmm.  Can she tell him to rig the lottery for the Knicks?

I’m a little behind on what goes down on the street, but is there any reason why a bunch of ten-year-old kids would be wild about Donald Trump?  Didn’t think so.

Handing the microphone to Stern, shaking Trump’s hand on the helipad… apparently this sort of thing is even more important than running the whole show.  If that’s so, even I’m qualified to be the Apprentice.

I think, somewhere, Kevin Allen was breaking out in a bigger sweat than the basketball players in this no-defense exhibition game. 

Jennifer asks both Pam and Chris to invite Trump to the after party, and lo and behold, he doesn’t show.  Really, how much does one woman have to be responsible for?

Although Pam would have been a hero if she ran outside, grabbed onto the helicopter, and held on for dear life as she tried to get the big guy to share a few mimosas. 

Trump to Kelly: “The seats are dirty and are not lined up properly.”  I’m not saying that’s a good way to make an impression or anything, but I can’t imagine being so spoiled that I can’t move my chair six inches to the left. 

And while you’re at it, Donald, use that hair for something and sweep the floor. 

Polo and Raj are a fashion match made in hell.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if Jennifer outbid the other guy for Bob Lanier’s size 22 sneakers and lost the task by $500?



 

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