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Evan Marc Katz is the founder of the online dating consulting service,
E-Cyrano, and author of the bestseller, "I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book - A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating."
 
 
 
 
Pictured (l-r): Kelly Perdew, Ivana Ma, and Kevin Allen.
 
 
 
'Know Your Enemy' means very little in a game where everyone is your enemy, don’t you think?
 
 
 
  12/17/04 Episode 216:
Magellans, Dirty Seats, and Sorority Presidents

 
  12/10/04 Episode 215:
Safe jobs, Intellectual Horsepower, and I Love You Too’s

 
  11/30/04 Episode 212:
Barbie Tumors, Pepsi Dumbbells, and The Honest Truth

 
  11/19/04 Episode 211:
Fembots, Fit Wheels, and Butt Attitude

 
  11/12/04 Episode 210:
“Impossible” Tasks, Trampled Fliers, and Only Two Brides-To-Be

 
  11/5/04 Episode 209:
Bad Contractors, “Nasty” Boardrooms, and Formal Firings

 
  10/29/04 Episode 208:
Deutsch, Hummers, and New York’s Finest

 
 
 
  Week 13: “Sweet and Lowdown”

Oompa Loompas, Candy Bar Strippers, and the M&M Sisters

By Evan Marc Katz

December 3, 2004 

Kevin Allen: “I don’t think Jen has a chance to win this competition.”  I’m not much at math, but I don’t think the day has come when a hot blonde didn’t have a chance with Trump.

What Sandy Ferreira says to Jennifer Massey: “I’m actually excited it’s just the two of us.” What Sandy’s face says to Jennifer: “If this weren’t on TV, I’d rip your bleached hair out by its roots!”

The ten seconds devoted to Donald Trump “doing business” each week is time I’ll never get back. How about filling that time up with some footage of Melania instead?

Very generous of Jennifer to let Sandy hang herself, I mean, be this week’s team captain.

“Know Your Enemy” means very little in a game where everyone is your enemy, don’t you think?

Kevin, on the lack of little people in the Mars factory: “We all thought there’d be a chocolate river going on and Oompa Loompas doing their thing.”  O-kaaaay…

With the comedy duo of Sandy and Jennifer on the chocolate conveyor belt, I can safely say that Lucy and Ethel have nothing to worry about.

Sandy asks for a delivery truck to bring her 290 candy bars.  Couldn’t she get it in, like, a suitcase?

I’d assume that the M&M Sisters served Jello shots in college, except Sandy didn’t go to college—and Jen doesn’t look she’s had a fun day in her life.

$5 for a candy bar?  These must be the same guys who tip female bartenders $5 a drink, thinking it somehow gives them a shot at getting laid at the end of the night. 

Some random guy on the street, talking about the M&M Sisters:  “I didn’t think they were that attractive.”  So wrong, but yet, so right. 

I, for one, would never have given Ivana Ma $20 to drop her skirt, although she could have earned a cool $100 if she got Jennifer to do it.

Believe it or not, in certain circles, stripping for money might get you called—oh, I don’t know—a “stripper.” 

 
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In business circles, however, they have a different word for an associate who acts like that: “fired.”

The winners get to go to Chicago to hang out with a guy their same age who was on this same show last year?  I think I’d rather ride shotgun with Billy Joel in a Lamborghini.  Okay, maybe not Billy Joel…

Very sweet moment when Kevin and Ivana hug and compliment each other before the boardroom…

…Too bad Ivana totally undermines it by saying right afterwards: “I have no choice but to go after Kevin.”  Although she’s totally right.

I don’t have my research handy, but I have to think Ivana would be the first Fortune 500 exec to doff her pants for $20.  Although certainly not the first to do it to get ahead.

George Ross surprised me when he stuck up for Ivana in the boardroom.  I’d have been too embarrassed. 

Carolyn Kepcher warning Trump about Ivana: “This is somebody who’s gonna run one of your companies.  Period.”  Not if she has any say in the matter.

As if Ivana needed any more help in getting herself fired, she says she’d fire the guy who has an exemption instead of the guy who’s her only competition.

And, naturally, reverses course a minute later, saying that Kelly Perdew is stronger than Kevin. 

“I’ve proved myself not as a project manager, but as a team member.”  And Trump still doesn’t want to hand a company over to her to run? 

Famous last words from Ivana: “I’m asking you to take a chance on me.”  When you have to say that, no one’s taking a chance on you.

Who was fired?  Ivana.

Who should have been fired?  Ivana.

Why?  She had Looney Toons characters or something on her bikini briefs—and I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t know that about her.


 

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