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Evan Marc Katz is the founder of the online dating consulting service,
E-Cyrano, and author of the bestseller, "I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book - A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating."
 
 
 
 
Pictured: Jennifer Massey.
 
 
 
I think I just got saccharin cancer from watching Andy and Sandy praise Pepsi to the high heavens for the sole benefit of the cameras.
 
 
 
  12/17/04 Episode 216:
Magellans, Dirty Seats, and Sorority Presidents

 
  12/10/04 Episode 215:
Safe jobs, Intellectual Horsepower, and I Love You Too’s

 
  12/3/04 Episode 214:
Oompa Loompas, Candy Bar Strippers, and the M&M Sisters

 
  11/19/04 Episode 211:
Fembots, Fit Wheels, and Butt Attitude

 
  11/12/04 Episode 210:
“Impossible” Tasks, Trampled Fliers, and Only Two Brides-To-Be

 
  11/5/04 Episode 209:
Bad Contractors, “Nasty” Boardrooms, and Formal Firings

 
  10/29/04 Episode 208:
Deutsch, Hummers, and New York’s Finest

 
 
 
  Week 12: “The Pepsi Challenged”

Barbie Tumors, Pepsi Dumbbells, and The Honest Truth

By Evan Marc Katz

November 30, 2004 

Sandy Ferreira after returning from the boardroom: “Did any of you think I’d make the final six?” Really, Sandy, if you don’t want to know, don’t ask.

Ivana Ma, finally getting something right: “I just don’t feel I stepped up on the last task.” Not that this is grounds for firing or anything. 

In the “if he wasn’t such a pompous tool, that might have been funny” category: Kelly Perdew asks for a group hug after he’s randomly selected to be project manager. 

If Andy Litinsky went on and on about Jennifer Massey’s boobs the way Ivana does, they would’ve sent him back to the playpen long ago.

Kevin Allen on Jennifer: “I’m not used to dealing with people that stupid.” Apparently, Chris Russo is not just gone but also forgotten.

Kelly, not Donald Trump, apparently is the guy to impress—at least according to Andy: “I’m gonna show him [Kelly] that youth and creativity can win out.”  Rah, rah, sis boom bah, gooooooo Andy!

Trump, sipping from the fountain of humility once again: “People love Trump Place.  They love the name Trump.”

Sandy pats Jennifer on the back so coldly when she comes over to their team that she makes Maria Boren’s painted-on smile seem genuine.

Ivana, going on about Jennifer: “I felt lighter…because I wasn’t carrying this blonde Barbie anymore…She was really like this tumor on my back.”  No, Ivana.  That would be your swollen head.

 
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I think I just got saccharin cancer from watching Andy and Sandy praise Pepsi to the high heavens for the sole benefit of the cameras.

You think anyone was regretting not making Ivana P.M. when she suggested turning the Pepsi bottle into an Academy Award?  Me neither.

“You can put the hot dog” in the hole in the bottle?  You can show “a piece of boob?”  Ivana’s thinking has gone from “outside the box” to “inside the sanitarium.”

Sandy, on failing to make her case for a round bottle, otherwise known as a “ball”: “My voice was not heard.”  We can only wish.

Andy’s $100 tips wouldn’t have been so bad if he had used them as hand-‘em-out-later incentives for finishing on time instead of hand-‘em-out-now incentives for eating pizza.

The hole in the Apex bottle literally brings a tear to Ivana’s eye.  I can only imagine what the boob bottle would have done. 

Maybe Ivana can ask the resident boob expert, Jennifer.

Kevin, making his point a little too effectively: “You all are much more smarter than we are.”  You done gone got that right.


 

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