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Evan Marc Katz is the founder of the online dating consulting service,
E-Cyrano, and author of the bestseller, "I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book - A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating." |
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| Pictured (l-r): Maria Boren, Andy Litinsky, and Sandy Ferreira. |
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 Ivana’s jean selector 'fit wheel' is a good, simple idea. So why does Jennifer look like she’s attempting to understand the nuances of quantum physics? |
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12/17/04 |
Episode 216:
Magellans, Dirty Seats, and Sorority Presidents
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12/10/04 |
Episode 215:
Safe jobs,
Intellectual Horsepower,
and I Love You Too’s
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12/3/04 |
Episode 214:
Oompa Loompas, Candy Bar Strippers, and the M&M Sisters
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11/30/04 |
Episode 212:
Barbie Tumors, Pepsi Dumbbells, and The Honest Truth
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11/12/04 |
Episode 210:
“Impossible” Tasks, Trampled Fliers, and Only Two Brides-To-Be
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11/5/04 |
Episode 209:
Bad Contractors, “Nasty” Boardrooms, and Formal Firings
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10/29/04 |
Episode 208:
Deutsch, Hummers, and
New York’s Finest
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Week 11: “The Butt Stops Here”
Fembots, Fit Wheels, and
Butt Attitude
By Evan Marc Katz
November 19, 2004
Jennifer Massey on the loss of beloved teammate, Chris Russo: “We all knew that Chris would go at some point soon.”
Did I just flip channels to BET or did Kelly Perdew just say, “Yo, bro” to Kevin Allen? Why am I more bothered by this than Kevin?
Ivana Ma attributes Jennifer’s effectiveness to her “hypnotic fembot spell.” What a revelation! Men lose their heads around gorgeous women! Ivana, please…
Wes Moss gets rid of Kelly instead of Maria Boren. Did this guy ever pick a kickball team back in 5th grade? I’m guessing not.
If The Donald’s “Hair Club for Men” comb-over isn’t proof enough that money can’t buy style, Bill’s “General Electric” hairdo proves it once and for all.
Kelly, apparently taking the same ego-swelling drug as—well—everyone else on this show: “Wes is afraid, because I’m stronger than he is.”
Wes, in response: “Kelly’s just a big jerk. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!” Okay, so he didn’t say that.
Ivana’s jean selector “fit wheel” is a good, simple idea. So why does Jennifer look like she’s attempting to understand the nuances of quantum physics?
With all the questions she’s asking, doesn’t Jennifer remind you of Stacy Rotner?
No? Try covering your eyes.
This week, Maria expands her self-proclaimed expertise into the realm of advertising, layout and design. Next week…oh, sorry, there is no next week.
Tell us how you really feel, Sandy Ferreira: “It’s an awful, stupid, ridiculous idea to just leave Maria in charge.” But her eyebrows are just so perfect…
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Trump says, “Never lose your cool, unless you have a reason for doing so.” Is he serious? There’s always a reason. Like getting pissed at your incompetent, unstylish, and utterly unsexy teammates—right, Maria?
Kevin, on Jen’s last picture from her shoot: “That’s the money shot right there.” If only, Kevin. If only.
Wes directing the models is right up there with Donatella Versace coaching the Knicks.
Maria, trashing team leader Wes: “No one is driving this ship. Someone needs to take charge.” Preferably with an iron fist, a push-up bra, and a really nervous facial tic.
I can only pray that this gem from Maria catches on: “Butt attitude.”
Sandy, talking about how Maria is sure to treat Wes: “She’ll walk all over him.” C’mon, give the guy some credit…
Maria to Wes: “I understand. BACK OFF!” Okay, scratch that.
Maria’s mission statement: “Give me bitchy or give me death!” Do we have to choose?
Is it me, or does the term “bitch-slap” come to mind right now?
After seeing the gray clouds in the background of every page of Maria’s catalog, I don’t feel like buying jeans; I feel like staying home and renting a movie.
Maria, going for a clean sweep of childish behavior, covers her computer screen as her teammates try to look. Why? “There was nothing to see.” Aaahh. Got it.
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