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  The Apprentice, Week 8: Fuse, Barenaked Ladies, Gene Simmons, New Found Glory, Simple Plan, Fat Joe, Lil’ Kim, Lil’ John, Moby, Eve, and Jadakiss

Original Air Date: 3/10/05 

By Sarika Chawla

As usual, the teams murmur amongst themselves about who’s getting the boot at the moment. Personally, if I had just come out of the boardroom, I’d skip the useless speculations and just put on some comfy sweats and open up a box of Oreos.  “It’s gotta be Audrey,” they intone.  Poor Chris Shelton cradles his head, “I don’t know. They’re hittin’ John so hard.”  Oh yeah, I forgot that John Gafford is such a big doodiehead.

The non-firees troop in one by one. “Craigers!” “Angie!”  “John!”  Chris swoops in for a hug with John.  Nothing homosexual there.  In a completely non-homosexual manner, Chris then tells us, “I was extremely excited.  I love John.”  Okay, maybe it’s a little bit homosexual. “He’s like my big bro, and I’m his little brother, so we get along really well.”  Not a good idea to doth protest too much, Christopher.

I wonder if Angie McKnight ever gets pissed that she’s always the one to answer the phone.  That’s a sucky responsibility to have.  Rona informs her that this “week” someone who hasn’t been project manager yet must lead.

On Magna’s end, Kendra Todd is the only one who fits the bill, so she debates the whole skirt/pants issue.  Is that supposed to be a trick question?  This is Donald Trump, woman. Thankfully, she slaps on a cute-but-not-too-short skirt and explains to us, “I’m looking to prove to Donald Trump that I’m a great leader, and I’m not flying under the radar.” This statement would be just a bit more effective if, oh I dunno, she weren’t wearing pink angora gloves. 

Down the hall at Net Worth, Chris and Craig Williams are the two choices they have for PM, and Craig seems more than happy to take a pass on the job.  Not the swiftest move, in my opinion, but he tries to play it off as good strategy: “As far as being project manager, it’s a title to me.  I don’t have anything to prove.”  To make it fair, they throw names into a hat and it’s….Chris!  Yes!  Mr. Squeaky is out of his cage and into the wilds. 


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Trump meets the teams and answers what was perhaps the most lingering question of the season.  No, no, not “Who cuts your hair?” but who’s better: Street Smarts or Book Smarts?  “It’s not whether or not you have book smarts or street smarts, you just need to be smart.”  So that whole debate can be put to rest.  Neither.  Both. Whatever.

Since there are only five people left on each team, the groups are going to be mixed up in a “corporate reshuffle.”  The team leaders get to choose who they want to send packing, which is a lot meaner and a million times more fun than picking teams.  Without hesitation, Kendra lets go of Stephanie Myers and
Erin Elmore

On Net Worth’s side, Chris immediately lets go of
Tana Goertz and Craig.  Craig, I can sort of get, with that whole, “most people don’t like me” attitude, but Tana?  C’mon.

The task this week is a kinda honkin’ one.  The teams have to produce an eleven-minute live charity auction on Fuse, with people bidding online for an “experience” with a music celebrity.  The proceeds, of course, will go to the Elizabeth Glaser Foundation for Pediatric AIDS.  (Great cause and all, but I wonder what it would be like if they ever earned proceeds for like, grown-up AIDS?  Just a thought.)  The teams also have to negotiate with the stars, which makes the business end of it mildly more interesting than say, which Clip Art to use on a flyer.



Sarika Chawla is a freelance writer in Los Angeles.
 
 
The Task:
To hold an on-air auction with
celebrity prizes.
 
Project Managers:
Kendra Todd and Chris Shelton
 
Winning Team:
Magna Corporation (Kendra Todd, Alex Thomason, Bren Olswanger, Craig Williams, and Tana Goertz)
 
Losing Team:
Net Worth Corporation (Chris Shelton, Angie McKnight, Erin Elmore, John Gafford, and Stephanie Myers)
 
Boardroom Participants:
Chris Shelton, John Gafford, and Erin Elmore
 
Candidate Fired:
John Gafford
 
I was extremely excited.  I love John.
 
 
 
  2/18/07 Business Rule #55:
Cede Some Control

 
  2/11/07 Business Rule #54:
Do It for the Team

 
  1/21/07 Business Rule #53:
Make Time for Downtime

 
 

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